Numb

We went in for another ultrasound today since the last one was a little early, but this time there wasn’t a heartbeat. The size hadn’t changed at all since the last appointment, so they think the heart stopped soon after that. That’s almost a week and a half, so since I haven’t even spotted even a tiny bit yet, I’m going in tomorrow for a d&c.
I keep trying to remind myself and Ryan that it’s completely normal for this to happen, but we already had so many hopes. At least I know I can get pregnant. Hopefully it wont take so long next time.

They also mentioned I’m RH negative, so I have to take some pills after the procedure so I don’t develop antibodies or something.  If anyone is curious about a d&c in the first few months of pregnancy (I would be 7w5d tomorrow) I can answer any questions you have.
I already cried so much today, it’s just gone over to numb.  My first stop after the hospital was to get a caffeinated soda.  This weekend I’ll have a few stiff drinks.  At least we have more time to prepare the house and save money, but that’s not very consoling.