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I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?

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Apr 11, 2014

The (Not So) Triumphant Return

This may come as a shock, but when you're struggling with your fertility, there just isn't much to post about in a blog dedicated to being pregnant!  Compound that with the crushing seasonal depression brought on by a very long, very cold winter, and the disappointment of still being in a job that makes me extremely unhappy... well it was hard to pull myself out of the funk enough to do much towards this blog.  For that, I apologize.
There were certainly good things that happened:

  • Parties with friends.
  • The support from my awesome husband.
  • Discovering a website that lets me stream the latest shows and movies (bwahaha).
  • And I'm sure other things, too.


But at the end of the day, I usually ended up depressed.  Another friend announcing their pregnancy.  Another new baby posted endlessly across my Facebook feed.  And across all these things, the evil whisper in my ear of "failure".  It's hard not to blame yourself; not to feel like you are failing as a human when pregnancy doesn't come as easy for you as it does for others.  Not to mention reaching, and then passing, the range of days that should have been my due date.  I think getting past those days actually helped me - it was over on way or another.
I do feel better now.  The first warm breeze of the year always helps lift me out of the dark, cold misery of winter.  That first crocus bursting open is a reminder that even after the cold and death of the last few months, new life is there to spring forth again.  There's always hope.  Spring is hope!
So basically I'm back, baby!


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