October 15

“The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?” 
― Laura Bush, Spoken from the Heart

Life, Lately

 Across the street from a friend's new home (we helped on moving day).

Goodwill Mini Haul

I stopped in at the local Goodwill while I was out doing some Monday chores, so I picked up a few things: 

 $.50 each

King Richard's Faire!

Well, life marches on, and we're not going to let our Groupons expire!  So on Sunday, we marched on over to King Richard's Faire in Carver, MA, with our friends Paula and Amanda.  It was a pretty good time!

Naughty wench show!

Well, All the Bills Are In

Now that we have received all the hospital bills, we know the full crappy extent of our health insurance.  We've been paying for the family plan (because we've been trying to start a family) since last July, and it's at least 3x what our individual insurances were together.  So this has been coming out of my husband's paycheck every month.  And because it's a family plan (well, actually because his boss picked this plan) the deductible is $2000.

You read that right.  Two THOUSAND dollars on top of $3-400 a month just to have the pleasure of pretending we have some sort of helpful insurance.  And now I get the bills for both appointments at the OBGYN offices and the D&C.  So lets break this shit down, because it's offensive and horrible:

Coping With Miscarriage as an Atheist

After finding out we had lost the baby, I went online to find a community I could talk to and relate to.  I just wanted to talk to other moms who were grieving like I was, but it turned out to be hard to find the right place.