Ryan's baby book reads like some sort of strange scientific study notes.

• 4.5 months: getting a little spoiled.
• 8 months: trouble with a capital T.  Crawling all over the place, wont stay still.  Hates playing with toys.  Was blowing bubbles, but forgets to take head out of water when breathing in.  Keeps sneaking up to bathroom to eat toilet paper.
• 11 months: wont eat vegetables at all.  Screeches loud and often.
• 1 year: kind of grumpy for your birthday.
• 15 months: wearing a brace at night.  Injured knee when you got stuck behind the couch.  Still not talking.  Gives wet dog kisses.  Side note: says keys and banana.  Waking up at 4AM.
• June 1986: terrible 2’s hit early.  Asking “what’s that” and “where’s…” constantly.  Asking for juice.  Constantly.
• August 1986: regressing a little.  Wont dress yourself anymore.  Wont count or say alphabet anymore.  101 Dalmatians still your favorite book - we read it EVERY night.
• October 1986: can count to 13 (almost).
• November 1986: very stubborn.  We read Tootie the Train every day.  Having nightmares - afraid of Santa Claus.
• January 1987: Still loves to sing.  Not talent trained yet but is trying - sort of.
• March 1987: loves trains - pretends to be one all the time.
• May 1987: love to help out (at least that’s what you call it).  Just figured out buttons.
• December 1987: fell off bunk bed, broke femur.
• February 1989: chicken pox.  Very independent.  Make your own breakfast…

That’s where the journal ends.  I can only assume something terrible happened to the scientist taking down these notes.

New Vlog Up

Numb

We went in for another ultrasound today since the last one was a little early, but this time there wasn’t a heartbeat. The size hadn’t changed at all since the last appointment, so they think the heart stopped soon after that. That’s almost a week and a half, so since I haven’t even spotted even a tiny bit yet, I’m going in tomorrow for a d&c.
I keep trying to remind myself and Ryan that it’s completely normal for this to happen, but we already had so many hopes. At least I know I can get pregnant. Hopefully it wont take so long next time.

They also mentioned I’m RH negative, so I have to take some pills after the procedure so I don’t develop antibodies or something.  If anyone is curious about a d&c in the first few months of pregnancy (I would be 7w5d tomorrow) I can answer any questions you have.
I already cried so much today, it’s just gone over to numb.  My first stop after the hospital was to get a caffeinated soda.  This weekend I’ll have a few stiff drinks.  At least we have more time to prepare the house and save money, but that’s not very consoling.

Crappy

You know what sometimes feels like crap?  Being pregnant.  You know what makes it 100% worse?  Having a miserable head cold while pregnant.  I blame Ryan for this indignity.

So I don't have anything big to report.  I'm going in on Thursday for another appointment, maybe another ultrasound but I'm not completely sure of that.  Hopefully my cold will be mostly better by then, because I don't want the appointment postponed again!  And hopefully they'll tell me I don't need the progesterone anymore, because I really don't like taking it...

Anyway, here are some pictures that have happened lately, because I can't make a coherently themed post:

No apple crumble for you, Zoso.